BEFORE READING, ALL CHARACTERS AND OTHERS ARE COPYRIGHTS TO WARNER BROTHERS AND ALBLIM ENTERTAINMENT (produced by STEVEN SPIELBERG), INCLUDING TOM RUEGGER (for his creativity). THEREFORE, AM ANNOUNCING AN APOLOGY TO THOSE!
Somewhere around the Acme Looniversity, we can all hear a sweet voice...
"Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, welcome, mon amis!"
The camera zooms inside and it reveals a classroom with a bunch of toons there, and a cooking table. There was that French purple skunk under the name of Fifi La Fume in a chef's hat.
Fifi has a pot near hear and the oven as she replies happily...
Fifi: "Today, I shall make zome of moi best cookings, made from moi hometown's cooking!"
The students applauded, even little Skippy, the nephew of Slappy Squirrel who seems to be interested in learning about her cooking.
But before Fifi could start, a doorknock was heard from the door of her classroom!
Fifi: "What is zis?" She walks near the door, note that she has an apron on, opens it and it happens to be Slappy the Squirrel...
Behind the classroom door stood the always cantankerous Slappy Squirrel, arms folded impatiently. "Stupid volunteer hooie Skippy signed be up for.... I can't believe I'm missing my favorite Happy Days reruns for this."
As Fifi opens the door for her, she steps in and, without even saying hello, pushes past and grunts "Ok, kid, make with the wee wee poo poo dishes. I skipped breakfast for this!"
Fifi: "Excuse moi!" she replies, adjusting her hat, "who are vou?"
Skippy raised his hand and Fifi notices....
Skippy: "That's my Aunt Slappy! I signed her up to volunteer with you, Miss Fume..."
Slappy remarked, "Just call me your involuntary volunteer."
Deciding to ignore her nasty behavior, Fifi clears her throat and replies...
Fifi: "Well, zen! Shall we continue?"
Slappy's empty belly growls. "That answer your question?
She walks up to the cooking table as she teaches...
Fifi: "Now, before I will start, I would need zomeone to help moi with zee cooking!"
Skippy raises his hand, answering...
Skippy: "I would, Miss Fifi..." Walking up to there, he also said, "Well, since she IS my aunt, I think it's best if I get to help make something with you, too!"
Slappy sees Skippy joining Fifi's cooking. "Now I'm concerned on a number of levels..."
Fifi: "Very good, Monsiuer Squirrel! Now...'
She pulls out a book called "A La Gourmets" and opens the book which has some instructions...
Fifi: "Today, we shall make zomething nice to go along with moi crossiants by making..."La Crème Du Ciel!"
Slappy demands the meaning of that sentence...
Slappy: “"English, crotch dumplin', do you speak it? Sheesh!"
Fifi: "Oh, it standz for 'The Cream of Heaven', Madam Squirrel!"
Slappy looks to the audience. "I sure hope no kids are watchin' this."
Skippy: "Aunt Slappy!" She notices that upset nephew of hers.
Fifi was reading the book and then looks back to her students....
She grimaces and folds her arms, sitting at a slightly bigger desk with a placemat on it. "Alright, no more cracks. But just for you, kiddo!"
Fifi: "Oui, oui! First, we must take zome flour!" She pulls out a heavy bag of flour, but as soon as she was about to put some inside the pot, the bag was tearing up and the flour goes in with a plop! The clouds form in and Fifi's voice was heard, coughing. She was all completely white, but she shook it off!
Fifi: "Zen, zome sugar! Skippy?"
Skippy notices Fifi as she replies, "Bring out ze sugar from zee counter." Skippy nods as he ducks and pulls out a glass container of sugar.
She scoops up a 2 table spoons and put them inside the pot. She then pulls out a cartoon of milk and pours it inside the pot. Throwing it away, she founds a label and starts stirring them.
Slappy, meanwhile, waits impatiently, occasionally glancing at her watch.
While she was stirring them, Fifi looks back to Skippy as she instructs him
Fifi: "Skippy, can you check zee the oven to see if my croissants are getting raiser?"
Skippy nods as he walks away and notices something inside the oven.
Skippy: "They looked like they've been inside all this time, Miss Fume."
Fifi: "Oh, oui, it waz! I put it them, because it takez zome time to do zem all!"
Skippy: "Well, it looks like they're a bit crispy!"
When Fifi heard that, she froze a bit and reacts while screaming, "Sacrebleu! Zay are not meant to be crispy!"
Slappy: “Did you say the crescents are crispy? Cuz I'm crazy for crispy crescents!"
Fifi rushes to get the cream nice and firm, and then she zooms her way to get other supplies for her cooking. She pulls out the starch, the eggs, everything edible. She puts them all at once and kept stirring it!
"Just so you know, the kitchen sink is right here if you need it."
Fifi, as she was sweating nervously, she replies in a worried tone, "Skippy, take zem out, but first, get zem cooking mittens!"
Skippy nods as she take the oven mittens that's hanging on the handle to lift the open and put then on. He pulls the handle down and takes the tray out and gently sets them above the oven.
Fifi, as it turns out, finally seems to finished get all the ingredients she needed for her Creme Du Ciel, she places it inside a fridge that happens to just appear near her and slams it inside.
Fifi: "And after zat, mon amis," she speaks in a tired and yet relieved voice, "we wait for them ze creme to cool off for a moment!' She clocks at her watch and looks at the classroom clock with the sound of ticking and tocking and then.....
The scent of the fresh, buttery crescents wafts it way under Slappy's nose, lifting it up from the copy of People Magazine she's chuckling at. She sniffs it and licks her lips in anticipation. Her stomach growls to reiterate. "Say, those wouldn't happen to be one of the, er, tasting experiments I'll be doing, would they"
Fifi: "Ah! It iz, Slappy, but let's not for zee Creme!"
She pulls out the pot from the fridge and has that spatula and scoops up "La Creme Du Ciel."
Slappy finally sits up in anticipation.
She walks with that spatula filled with creme as she is near Skippy, asking, "Are zee crossiants no longer hot?'
Fifi: "Bien!" She replies as she basted the crossiants with the cream on it! While she was basting them, Slappy was all like having this moment to come.
When Fifi finally basted the 24th croissant, and presents it to the students, they all applauded. As for Slappy, her mouth was drooling and her stomach was growling. Fifi smiles and looks at the excited squirrel, asking....
Fifi: "Slappy, would vou like to take zee honor of trying moi croissants with La Creme Du Ciel?"
Slappy’s stomach growls again. "Again, I need not speak for myself." She grabbed on and devoured it.
She was already near her and munches more.
After savoring it, she licked her lips and gobbled up another.... and another.... and another..... and so on.....
Pretty soon, she's eaten the entire tray, licking her fingers and patting her now-satisfied stomach. "Eh, not bad."
Fifi took the tray away and was dumbfounded. Not a single crumb left. "La GASP!" She replied dramatically.
Skippy looks back and notices something fishy going on with Slappy. He stares in shock as he yells, “Aunt Slappy! Your body!!”
Slappy, after licking her lips, looks back to her dear nephew, quizzically…
Slappy: “ You’re what now?
Afore (before) she goes further, she felt a great big rumbling all over the place. The students panicked as one of them yells, “EARTHQUAKE” or “She’s about to explode!”. They all flee away as there is only three left: Fifi La Fume, Slappy and Skippy Squirrel. Skippy backs away as he bumps onto Fifi; they both stood there shockingly. Slappy, who has no clue what’s going on with her, she begins to feel plump. She then realizes that her belly was bulging, her arms feeling heavy, and there, she expands.
Slappy: “What have you done to me, polecat!?!”
She yells as she gets bigger and bigger until it stops. Once it did, Skippy and Fifi were in disbelief. Slappy was outraged by this. She rocks back and forth, kicking and grunt in frustration.
Skippy: “Miss Fume, was that supposed to happen?”
Skippy looks back to Fifi. Fifi sweats nervously by this unpredictable situation! She shook her head, replying..
Fifi: “Oh, non, non, non, non, non! Zat can’t even happen!”
Fifi looks back on that pot with the Crème Du Ciel still inside. She scratches her head, trying to think. Slappy yells angrily, “What did you do to this dish!?!”
Fifi, trying to think of something, looks back inside the oven. She spots nothing inside. She then looks back and on the floor near her were two croissants left. They seem to have slide off from Slappy’s paws during her feeding frenzy. She picks them up, scratching her head.
Skippy snatches one croissant from Fifi’s one paw. Skippy warns her, “Fifi, I’m not so sure if you should try them out! If you do, you might end up like my poor Aunt Slappy!”
“Aw, let her taste those delicious croissants with that tangy, sugary cream,” Slappy chuckles as she was intending to entice. Skippy turns back and notices what Slappy was doing, yet it was too late. A low growl from Fifi’s stomach was a sign that Fifi is bound to do it!
“Azz for hometown, we never want to waste zee great cuisines! And non to mention that I skipped lunchbreak! I must try one!”
“Miss Fume, NO!” Skippy protested as that treat was already thrown inside Fifi’s mouth and down it goes with a single gulp. Once she did, she rubs her belly happily, licking her lips. Slappy tries hard to hold her laughter as Skippy decides to hopelessly watch the upcoming fate of poor Fifi La Fume.
Fifi felt her belly rumbling like crazy. She looks down, asking, “C'est quoi ça? ” She then notices that her belly bulged like a beach ball. She looks at the audience with that sadly freaked out expression, meekly squeaking, “Oh, non…’
She then feels herself blowing up. Her belly got bigger while she screams in French until it ceases. She sighs in relief as she still feels uneasy and queasy! Compare to Slappy, Fifi is not as big as Slappy is as she seems to ate more than Fifi did. The sound of Slappy laughing was heard when she notices her. Skippy looks back at Slappy, angrily.
Skippy: “Aunt Slappy, why did you do this to Miss Fume? She’s one of my favorite teachers and you made her into a blimp!”
“Well, that’s what she gets for doing this to me!” Slappy remarks, satisfied to get even with Fifi.
Skippy solemnly replies, “But I, too, helped her, remember?”
When Slappy heard that, she realizes that Skippy, TOO, was involved in the cooking! She frowns and then notices the sobs from Fifi La Fume…
Fifi: “La sob! Boo hoo hoo! I must’ve put too much baking soda in zee crème!”
Skippy walks up to Fifi and hugs her big belly. Trying to comfort her, she rubs her belly while saying to her, “There, there, my dear, favorite teacher…”
Fifi stopped crying when she heard Skippy calling her his favorite teacher. She even felt the rubbing. She blushes and looks down as she sees Slappy smiling at her. She titters happily and blissfully. To Slappy, she was unhappy to see how much he is much of a teacher’s pet to Fifi. She sighs and then replies…
Skippy and Fifi heard that as they looked back at her. Skippy asked, “What was that, Aunt Slappy?”
“I said….. ‘I’m sorry’….” She repeated, “both you and your professor! I was just hungry at first and mad at the same time! Boy, I can sure be rubbed. I’m feeling quite ached from all those bio-hazardous snacks.” Her belly groans grimly.
Skippy nods agreeably as he heads back to Slappy and starts rubbing it. Slappy looks relaxed as she sighs. Fifi, she was so blessed to have a student like dear Skippy, she sighs as she replies…
Fifi: “Aw, zey’re such BIG, sweet family couple, non?”
Fifi begins to shred a tear of joy as the iris fades out
- THE END –